Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Someone told me...that i'm NARCIS....!(thanks,friend)

NARCIS....kata yang terdiri dari 5 huruf, but have a deep meaning. Setidaknya jarang sekali aku menyadari, kalo aku memang teramat narcis. Mulai dari memasang fotoku sampai nyaris memenuhi seluruh sudut meja kerjaku, or just talk bout myself much with somebody else....

Wow....how NARCIST am I...tanpa kusadari ternyata selama ini aku kadang suka gila menghormati diri sendiri, menyanjung diri sendiri dan membuat seakan-akan aku terhebat diantara semua. Tiba-tiba aku menjadi malu, ketika seorang teman memberikan opini tentang diriku...."kayanya lo tuh terlalu suka talk too much bout urself"....
yeah....akhirnya aku tersadar dari tidurku. Selama ini kupikir aku rendah hati,...tapi ternyata tidak juga. Sepertinya selama ini telah kulakukan terbaik, tapi ternyata sepertinya aku memang harus introspeksi.

Kadang, aku menjadi seorang yang NARCIS hanya karena menyelamatkan diriku dari sakit hati. Tidak membiarkan ruang sedikitpun untuk menjadi terluka dan menangis. Melarikan diri dari kekecewaan dan menghibur diri sendiri. Biar saja, orang sekitarku menyangkaku kuat dan hebat. Tapi ketika sejenak kuberhenti pada sebuah jeda, dan aku kembali menemukan diriku, jujur.....without anything...n i found my self....still nothing....

Tapi mungkin aku harus memikirkan cara lain, menyelamatkan diri dari rasa sakit hati toh mungkin tidak harus dengan menjadi NARCIS....

dan malam ini....aku mau diam saja, mungkin kalau mulutku terbuka lagi....mungkin aku hanya akan kembali menjadi seorang yang NARCIS....

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